hello there bloggers ((:

Well, hey there. It's been awhile. I have a lot to talk about. Well, starting from the beginning.. I have moved out of my apartment, Already.. I know! Lol. My room mates turned into bitches. I was very tired of their drama. So i packed up my stuff and left. Didnt tell my landlord, so hopefully i dont get taken to court. LOL! Welll, I live with my friend Paige Moore, She used to work at Jcpenney with me. We have good times, and she has been the biggest support to me. I don't talk to my mom anymore, cuz when i was almost homeless, she told me to leave her house, and never come back.. Oh well, I'm so over her and her ridiculous crap.. I am NOT going to school at BYU-I anymore.. I decided against it. I started hanging out with an old friend from high school, he showed me some stuff in the the bible that contradicts the lds religion and stuff, so now, i do not go to church or anything anymore.. I still beleive in God and Jesus Christ, more than ever before. My savior is the only thing getting me through these challenges in my life right now. I starting dating this guy from above, his name is Casey Hawkins, and we dated for a while.. He ended up breaking my heart, but what else is new, right? Lol. I am hanging out with this new guy, we'll see where this goes, he's a sweetheart.. Hmm, what else, well, i still work at Jcpenney. Love it there very much. ((: Getting into the christmas season, it's getting pretty freakinnn crazy. I am starting a new career. I am going to be a consultant for slumber parties. I am sooo stoked. I am getting ready to buy my kit, within the next few weeks. So if you wanna book a party, let me know. ((: I love my life right now, as shitty as it may be, I still love every minute, I am growing stronger everyday of my life..

grandpa bowen, wesley wagner, and alex... may angels lead you in.. <3 I love you!

Those little moments..

Hey people, It's been awhile. I've been so super busy it's crazyy. I've been picking up extra hours at work, reaching 40 hours at least every week. Crazyness!! But it's good for me, "builds character." Well, I guess I have a lot to talk about in this blog today.
First things first, I moved into my apartment. How exciting right? I have 2 other room mates so far. One more girl is suppose to move in. I hope she does soon.. My room mates are super cool. I share a room with a girl from the Czech Republic, Hopefully I spelled that right. She is pretty chill. We live in like a duplex thing. The other side is guys, as well as the downstairs which can be awkward, seeing as we share a laundry room with them. This morning I wake up to a knock on my door, so I open my BEDROOM door and two guys are standing in my living room, Picture this.. My hair a MESS, Makeup everywhere! And short shorts and a tank on.. I was like CRAP! Embarrasing. They were cute guys too. Haha. Just my luck right. Well, their like, "oh, we must have the wrong house." They think it's okay, to just walk into our house and knock on my bedroom door. Super awkward. Haha! But other than that, we havent had must trouble with the neighbor boys, There are two REALLLY cute guys that live there. So maybe I can get a date or two out of this, haha.
On Saturday night, I went on a date with Tanner Loftus. He's such a sweetheart. It was really funn. We went to the visitor's center in I.F. and looked at the sweet pictures they have there, of the other galaxies.. Then we got a jamba, went to a parkk, then went to the river. It was a nice date. Kind of a relief after a long week at work. He's a good guy. He leaves on his mish in November. I plan to write him.
I've been thinking way too much about Wes lately. I got a sticker on my car for him. Wes, being the friend that died in December of 09. That I talked about in earlier posts. I miss him so much. He was a big part of my growing up. It's just weird that he is TRUELY gone. I just cant believe it. It's blowing my mind. I've been like balling almost every night lately. I don't know why it's hitting me so hard now, but it has.
I've been hanging out with Chad, a lot lately. I sure love that kid, but like a best friend. He is my best friend right now. He has been the greatest testimony builder for me through this transition in my life. He is definitely a big part of my life, as this point in time. It's just hard, because I have feelings for him, that I don't really understand. And I don't want to have those feelings.. Because he's.. still in high school.. Ahhhh. A youngin.. Then he has his mission.. We counted it out yesterday.. and it'd be like 3 1/2 ish years that I would have to wait for him.. At least.. And I don't think I'm strong enough for that. So we will see what happens.. Complicated stuff right there, that just hurts my heart to think about.. For now, He's my best friend, And that's all. Haha.. Because.. A lot can happen in 3 1/2 years.. A lot.
The other night I hungout with my friend Shelby, and saw "the other side" of BYU-Idaho. It's not like they were drinking or drugs or anything bad like that.. But they weren't acting like I imagined. It was pretty interesting to see how some people can go to a church school and totally act.. well.. bad.. Like perverted and crap. I don't get it.. People amaze me.

Well, I think that is it for now. Until next time, <3

A new chapter to the story of my life.

Well hello there readers, I've been slacking on my posts.. I need to catch you all up on what is happening in my crazy life.

Well I'm working 40 hours a week at JCPenney. Still loving every minute of it. Making good money. Doing great at my job! I've gotten about 6 customers comments, which is good seeing as I've only been there for like a month.. I had my month review and they decided to keep me, told me to keep up the great work. (: I got to work in a different department, just as a fill-in on Sunday. I worked in Men's. That was quite interesting. It was fun. (: I liked it.. Haha.

The date I talked about in my earlier post.... never happened... ): Sad day, I know. The guy canceled on me, then rescheduled. So now, I'm suppose to go out with him Saturday night. Hopefully that works out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Ha. I could use this date.

Well, there happens to be this boy, that I'm really interested in, not the above date, someone else. His name is Chad. He's pretty much a butt head.. That happens to be his nickname in our house. He likes to play mind games.. Haha. So That is why I am trying to find someone else.

Well, BYU-I still hasn't sent me my track assignment, I'll definitely post when it does. I'm hoping I get on a good track. (:

And the biggest news of the week..

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Ready for it...

Haha.

I found a house to rent. I signed a lease. I'm moving out on Wednesday!! Omgosh! I am so excited! It's crazy how time flys. How I'm not a little kid anymore, how i'm moving out into my own place. And the people are agreeing to a 4 month lease. So I wont be tied down when school starts. The apartment is in Rexburg, on 2nd street. (: yay! I'm so stoked! It's going to be great! (:

Well, I'm off to start a new chapter in my life! When I get a chance to blog again, I will. I will post pictures of the new house!

<3

Did you hear that?

Well these past few weeks have been quite busy. I haven't been able to keep up with blogging as much. Which is saddening cuz I have found out more people read my blog than I think. (: Keep reading guys.

Well, work is still going soooo amazing. The supervisor over my department told me today that she is so impressed with me and how well I am doing. I have so many awesome co workers that have helped me learn my job quick. I think I am doing very well, compared to some of the new hires who have been there a couple weeks longer, who are not doing good at all. I am very proud of myself. (: I got some new shoes because my old shoes were ballet flats and were killing my feet, they were super cute, but my feet were like dying after the first hour on the job. So Brad bought me a new pair of shoes. They are so much better, not as cute as my flats, but definitely more comfortable, which matters way more. They gave me blisters today, but that's just because they are new. I will break them in eventually.

Well, I have some really really really really..
did you hear that?
really really...
really
good news!! (:

I GOT INTO BYU-IDAHO!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so unbelievably happy about it too. Every thing is just falling into place too. I found a place too live. My aunt is going to help me out a lot because she works up there. I know this is what heavenly father wants me to do. Because everything is working out perfectly. Thanks to those who gave advice, it helps! (:

One more thing before I call it a night..

I have a date. I am so excited! He is planning all sorts of fun things. It's going to be just wonderful, I'll post updates on that when the time comes, that is not til the 25th and I'm sure I'll blog again before that.

Oh and another thing. I recieved a letter from Dennis the other day! I was so excited! Dennis is a really good friend of mine that is on his mission and he is basically the reason I became active in the church again. So I am really glad to hear from him. I always love to hear from him!

Goodnight.

Life doesn't stop for anyone.

I haven't been good at keeping up at my blog lately. I've got a few major things to talk about. My job. My best friend had her baby. My mom and my step dad split up. Decisions with school so far.

Okay. Here we go.

Are you ready for this?


Are you sure?




Okay.


Well, my job is going A-MAZING!! I LOVE it!! I work with some great people. They are really fun and we have a good time at work. I love retail, because even if I am having the worst day ever, the customers can make it so much better! Like Saturday, I was supposed to go into work at 11, well I got to into town at 10:30, so I thought I'd get a jamba with an energy shot before work. Well, I park, get my debit card, think that is all I need, so lock my doors and shut them. Then turn around to realize that my keys are sitting on the front seat of the car. OH MY HECK. I'm thinking... REALLY? So I start freaking out, thankfully I grabbed my phone,So first I called my work, they told me to walk over to work and try and find someone to get my car open while I am at work. So I called Brad, no answer. Called my mom, She did answer thankfully. So my mom, being a life saver, came and opened up my car while I was at work. Again, THANKFULLY, I left the passenger side window cracked enough that my mom reached a pole in there and pressed unlock. I think Heavenly Father was watching over me that day. I love my mom, She is my HERO! (: Back to my job, I just wanna say it is going super well, I love all my managers too. They rock. They are all totally cool. (: The best thing that happened this week. Was on Tuesday... Hailee Chase Bosen was born. 6 lbs. 4 oz. 20 1/2 in. at 11:37 pm. Brit was only in labor for 8 hours, which is quite good considering it was her first child. I am so glad I got to be there for that. I loved sharing that experience with my best friend. It was a neat first for me. I am so proud of how strong Brittany was. She was a trooper. She didn't complain. She didn't even cuss up a storm, which I was sure she would. It was so funny, The one time she did swear, We had an LDS nurse that was like please don't curse. And I think that pissed Brittany off. She really doesn't like people telling her what she can and cannot say. But I gotta love that girl. Colten was freaked out when he saw the doc break her water. Well, he was freaked out for most of it. He hated seeing his love in pain. Those too were so cute all night. I am so glad that my Burt found such a good guy to be there for her through all of this. I hope they can do what they dream of, and get married soon. Another one of the things to post.. My mom and her husband, Preston, split up.. Its pretty sad that my mom has to go through this again. I feel so bad for her. I love my mom so much. And I hate to see her go through so much heart ache. My mom is my hero. I love that woman. I can't imagine how my life would be without her, cheesy cliche, right? (: Lastly, the whole school and housing situation. I think that I am going to take a year off, maybe not even a full year, Just a half a year. And either start in January at BYU-I. or EITC. Or University Place in I.F. Either one of those would be just fine I think. I don't know if BYU-I is the best choice for me right now. I don't know if I could handle all the constant interactions. Sometimes I just need my space. And sometimes I just need a girls night where I have a sleepover with friends. Which I couldn't ever do at BYU-I. So I don't know. We will see when the time comes. Right now, I'm just going to live life up. (:
I think everyone should remember. No matter how much people want it too, life does not stop for anyone. It'll keep on going. Make the best of every situation. Live you're life to the fullest, as much as possible!

The simple things make all the difference.

My first day of work was AWESOME! I am so happy that I got the job there. I am learning very quickly. It was just training today, but it was awesome to meet all the amazing people that work there. I am so looking forward to getting to know everyone! I learned a lot about the company and everything to do with the sales. I had so much fun.

Well, we had a big rainstorm in Idaho Falls tonight. And the sky afterwards is what got me thinking.. Why do we take our world for granted. God made such a beautiful place for us to live in, and society has completely ruined it. Crazy how the sky tonight could make me think all this. Haha.

Or something like that.

Yesterday was jam packed with funfilled adventures!! Starting off, I went with my friend and we did crafts. She made a picture frame for this girl she's being a bridesmaid for and I made a necklace. Super cute one too!! I love making crafts that I can show off. Like the crafts we made the other night at Girl's night. P.s. This next week, we are making tie-dye. Heck yes. My fav!!

Returning to yesterday...

Then I went to look at an apartment with my friend Kenzi. We are thinking about getting an apartment. Trying the whole "living on our own" thing. I'll keep ya posted on how that fans out.

After this, I went to the bank and discovered.. I have about $40 to last me til my first pay check which won't be for a couple weeks. Ahhhh! Scary stuff right there.

Next, I went to my BFF's house, Brittany. We just hungout while she made dinner for her and her boyy, and her sister-in-laws. I am so excited for her little baby to be born!

After that, I went to institute and Brother Garfield (i believe that's his name, not positive, so don't quote me on that one) gave us the BEST talk ever, granted he was talking about marriage and babies. Which I hope will not be in store for me for a couple years. Who knows though. Then, we had ice cream in the church cultural hall. Which was delish. It was Farr's ice cream. MMMMM.

And then, a group of us, went up to the black hills, or something like that, and lit off fireworks. We had a fire, and just sat around talking for awhile. Then we played Mafia.. (or something like that) That was an interesting game. It got kind of dramatic after awhile. Blake was definitely the most clever out of all of us. No one could figure out who the mafia was. He played it off so good. It was hilarious. Then we went back to Josh's house. And just hungout. It was a grand ol' time. It was great to meet new people and make new friends. Tonight we are going to the drive-in. That should be way fun as well. (:

I start my job at Jcpenney today! I'm SUPER excited/nervous for it! I hope I can show how hard a worker I am. I can't wait to meet all the employees and learn more about the store. It's going to be just fabulous!

I need some help here.

Okay, So, I really really really want my own place. Well me and my friend Kenzi want to get a place together. We would have so much fun living on our own and it would be such a great learning experience, buttt, here is the problem. I might go to school in January at BYU-I. Which I would have to live in approved housing. If me and Kenzi got an apartment it would be a minimum 6 month lease. Which would carry over to when I am supposed to go to school... Soooooo.. I was thinking, maybe I should just go to EITC. Then, transfer to ISU later. I really want my own place, and at BYU-I, I would have to share it with other girls that I don't even know. Plus it wouldn't be my furniture, it would be the school's. I don't want that. I want to decorate it all my own! Give me your opinions guys?? EITC/ISU or BYU-I?? Help me out!

Best friends forever.

I'm just thinking how fast life goes by! It feels like just yesterday, me and Brittany were chasing boys at Sandcreek Middle School. Now, she's having her own little trouble maker. Hailee is going to be just like Brit and I were. It's going to be crazy to see her grow up! Tomorrow is her baby shower. I cannot wait for it. To see all her family, and to be able to share this experience with my best friend! I don't think I will ever find someone like Brit, Who will put up with ALL my crap! She has been there for everything. No one else can say that much. I hope our kids will be best friends, granted, her kids will be a bit older than mine. Haha! Oh well, they will grow up together. My future husband will definitely be LDS and take me to the temple, but he will also have to deal with my non LDS friends, like Brit. Cuz she will be there all of my life! As I will for her. I can't wait for her to be my maid of honor. And I will be her's. She is my hero, in more ways than one. I am so happy she has found her soul mate this young. They are so perfect for each other!

Well, that was quick!

Monday afternoon I got online and filled out an application for jcpenney! I went about the rest of my day, then at about 6 that evening, I get a phone call from them asking to set up an interview. So of course, I jumped on that. I had my interview on Wednesday at 2:30. And the interview went so well, that the guy interviewing me was like, let's give you a second interview right now (because apparently it is store policy to give 2 interviews). Well the manager that was giving the 2nd interviews was too busy with training, that she was like, let's reschedule. So they said they'd call me, which they did, later that day. My second interview was today at 10:00. That went A-mazing! So the lady was like we will call you, well at about 12:00, They called me and were like we would like to offer you a job working in..... (building anticipation).....

THE KIDS SECTION!

Hello, that is definitely MY section! How perfect right?? They are going to start me off at $7.75 an hour, 40 or so hours a week. Then after 30 days, if I am doing great (which I will be) I will get a raise! What a fabulous day.

Then this day just get's better. I went to mongolian grill for lunch! OMGosh. Delish, is all I have to say! Thennnnnnnn, this MAN, not a dumb boy, a MAN!!! Asks me out on a date. A REAL LIVE MAN! Did you get that part? Hopefully!! So of course I accept that offer as well! Today is just terrific.

I just have institute to go to now! yay! (:

Girls Craft Night.

Last night, some friends and I decided to have a girl's craft night. We made these cute little flower things. We made them out of fabric. It was such a success. We munched on some treats and just gossiped. It was such a great experience to get to know these girls. We have decided to make craft night a weekly ritual. I am super excited because next week we are tie-dying. I am super excited to be making such fun memories before college. A couple of the girls are going to Utah State, one is going to EITC, and then a few others are going to BYU-I, including me, HOPEFULLY!! (: I finally finished my application yesterday! So now.. I just wait! Which I am soooo horrible at! These girls are so awesome though! They are all so strong in the gospel, which is so awesome for me, because not many of my other friends are even LDS. Anyways, one of these nights, we were thinking about having a Tea Party, and dressing up like the olden days. But of course not real tea. I am sooo excited! This is all so fun for me, seeing as with my old friends, we never did anything creative like this. I am also. Sooo excited for college. I went looking at apartments up in the Burg yesterday also. I love it. It's so awesome up there! OH MY HECK! There is a C-a-razyy thunderstorm going on outside, right as I am typing this. Scary!. It'll be great to get to know these girls as we go through college.

What a long and emotional night.

Me and Barbara sat outside for about an hour. Both just sobbing. Her crying over Ben, me crying about everything. This boy that is on my mind, Wesley, My past. I miss Wesley and it is REALLY hitting me tonight. I don't know why it didn't hit me til now. I am really upset about it. I am just now BALLING my eyes out. I can't believe he is really gone! It just blows my mind. Then there is this stupid boy, that I can not get over, for the life of me. I hate BOYS, like I keep saying, I need a man. Hahah. Lastly, my past, I was just thinking about all the crap my mom has put me through. I haven't realized how crazy my life was when I lived with her. I was a mess, My life was a mess. I am so thankful for the Carlson's. I wish my mom would have a change of heart. She hates me going to church, but I'm not about to change my amazing decision, to follow her crappy ones. No Thank You! Haha.

I need a man, not a boy.

I've been "dating" this going to be senior. Well, he likes playing little high school love games. And I amm pretty tired of it. I decided tonight that I probably shouldn't even deal with it anymore. I mean I am leaving to college in January. And I don't want to be caught up in anything anyways. Because I'm going to meet great MEN while I am there. I plan on dating around til at least my second year.. I want to wait for anything serious. I want to see what all is out there. But this BOY gives me butterflys, which probably sounds cheesyy. But I'm pretty old school when it comes to dating. I like the guy to open doors, pay for stuff, be all gentleman like.

I am definitely ready for college life. I am ready to get away from all the old high school drama. And find new friends. Which I have already found a few friends that are going to go to BYU-I. Which is like perfect. I am just readyy for a change! (:

Life is too short

It is crazy how quick life can end. It seems so slow, but you never know when your time to go will be. I've had death on the brain a lot lately. Not for me. But friends or people I have known that have died. It seems like just yesterday that me, Brittany, Wesley, Colton, Nick, Kody and Travis were riding the bikes out in the field by mine and the pulliams house. I miss Wesley more and more everyday that he is gone. You never know how much you love someone until they are gone. Cliche, yes. But it is sooo true. I wish I would have spent way more time with him. Every memory I have of him is so amazing, and so very dear to my heart. I love Wes. He was one of my best friends. He knew how to make ANYONE smile. Especially if they were in the worst moods ever. I miss him. "You are so loved Wes." I searched for Ben Carlson on myspace today. Man, I shouldn't have done that. I live with Ben's parents. Ben killed himself on April 23,2007. I never met him, but I really wish I would have. His family is such a big part of my life. From what I hear, he is one great guy. I wish I would've been able to met him. I know he would've changed my life, even more than he already has. I was reading through all his old comments tonight. And realized, he was so loved. He had so many people who loved him, that he didn't even realized cared at all. I wish he could've seen how many people really loved him.. I love him, and I haven't even met him.

So basically just thinking about how, we need to live our lives to the fullest, because it's a short time before we will go back to live with our heavenly father. And you never know when your journey on earth will be over.

Birthdays.

On July 13th it was my 18th birthday. I was so excited to turn 18, but now I don't know why. The only difference is that I can buy things which I never intended to buy in the first place. So.. not much difference. My new friends that I have made threw me a little surprise birthday party at Cold stone. That was super sweet. (: Then, yesterday it was Wesley Wagner's birthday. He died in December. And it still hurts to even mention his name. He's an old friend. And I wish I could've said goodbye. Well anyways, me and my friend Ericka, Went to his grave for the first time for both of us. It was great to spend the day remembering Wes. He is dearly missed. He would've been 18 yesterday. At around 9:30 last night, me and Ericka took Colton and Alan a cake to celebrate his birthday with them. It was great to catch up with them. And great to remember Wes.