Late night thoughts....

I should be sleeping seeing as I have to be up at like 6:30. but I have so so much on my mind. So I figured I'd blog about it. (:

I hungout with my friend Shelby today and we got to talking, probably one of the most serious talks I've had with anyone in a really really long time. We both started crying a bit. We've both been through a lot of trials and tests of our strength in the church. And even reading some of my posts from like a year ago.. The things I said, I can never take back. But I know for a fact that's not how I really think or believe. Drugs do things to a person, that I would never, ever wanna put myself through again. I hurt so many people close to me, people that really know me. & I've made a lot of mistakes in my journey to find me. But the only thing.. That is my biggest goal. That I can say I REALLY DID think about even through the drugs phase... I want.. no.. I will get married in the temple. It is the only thing I know that I want and need and will do. It's my number 1. I may mess up. I have my issues. but there is nothing in this world that will change the fact that I believe in the gospel.. with all my heart. & I will do anything, I will give up anything, I will say goodbye to anyone, if it means getting married in the temple. So these past couple weeks. I've done just that. I've distanced myself from anyone who has EVER made me second guess my faith. I deleted them from Facebook. (a small step, but it really will help not seeing their rude and hurtful comments) I moved back in with the Carlsons.. the only people in this world who really understand me without going through what I have.. They are the least judgemental people I have ever met, even though they are pretty much perfect and it seems like they would.. They dont. NOT EVER. I love them tremendesly for it. I go to church, not just go.. I listen, with all my heart. I have such a strong testimony now that if you go to church seeking answers.. with questions in your heart. Heavenly Father WILL answer them. Every time. Im lucky for the few friends I have that have shown me the gospel and have helped me when I really needed it.

I have a lot of other things on my mind. But those are just some to let out and put into "writing" (:

The Final Months.

Helllllllloooo bloggers!

I bet you're thinking.. OH MY HECK SHE'S ALIVE! Hahah, I wasn't so sure myself. But I'm back. & hopefully here to stay for awhile this time. (:

No.. Im not dying. It's not MYYYY finaly months.

Dennis Glen High comes home in 7 freaking months. The final months and I can't even believe it. I'm insanely excited. He has been the biggest support to me over the past few years. I dont know where I would honestly be without his love and guidance. He has shown me things I never really knew or understood before. Things I never took the time to understand. He has shown me the most important things in life. My faith. Without him, I never would've believed in anything or tryed too. & I don't know how I can ever repay him for everything he's done for me. I cannot wait for him to be home and tell me everything about his mission. I am looking forward to seeing where our relationship will go.

This song has been my favorite lately, I'll just copy the lyrics. It is mine and Dennis's song. (: And a PERFECT fit for how I feel.

Here it is, Everything by Lifehouse:

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
where I find peace, again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the life, to my soul.
You are my purpose, you're everything.

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You still my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, you're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, you're all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want, you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, you're all I need.
You're everything, everything.

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better, any better than this.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?


<3